At 9 months pregnant, a few weeks before my expected ” due date”, I felt a sense of urgency, aside from the normal anxiety in the mind of a Mama who is about to add another child to their clan. I hurried to tie loose ends at work, printed our birth plan, and created a ” birth” day music playlist on my phone. At 40 years old, pregnancy isn’t a walk in the park. I felt my hips expanding, bones cracking, and the weight of the baby was causing a lot of pressure on my lower back. I felt like my tummy couldn’t get any harder or more full of baby. “Baby” ( we didn’t yet know if it was a boy or a girl) was very active and kicking and took my breath away a few times that week. It hurt to take a short walk without my belly support band. I gained 36 pounds. I was waddling to the bathroom a few times throughout the night and everything hurt. I felt the 40. I’m thankful my good friend Crisanta at Infiniti Foto could capture the beauty of pregnancy without all of the pain. Literally, like a walk in the park!
On Wednesday night, at 36.5 weeks pregnant, I went to bed and made a mental note of all the things I still needed to do before baby came. I woke up on Thursday morning sitting in a puddle of what I thought could have been urine. I waited until morning to re-asses. The fluid kept trickling down my legs and I couldn’t stop it. It was clear and had no smell. I knew then that it was amniotic fluid. This was exactly what happened with my last pregnancy at 38.5 weeks. I thought, why is this happening so early? It was almost a month before my due date! I knew there was no way my due date was off. I though this could be a small tear and it would heal itself, which is possible. My other thought was that labor could start at any moment and I needed to arrange childcare for my 2 year old, Cruz as soon as possible! I also needed to inform my manager at work that I may be out on maternity leave sooner than expecte
After another 24 hours, it was Friday and the leak was not repairing itself. We contacted both Grandmas to see who was available to watch our 2 year old Daughter Cruz so we could head an hour south to the hospital and have my fluid levels and baby’s heart rate checked for peace of mind. We also expected I would be in labor very soon. Studies say that 90% of women go into labor ON THEIR OWN within 48 hours of rupture of their amniotic sac.- Reference Evidence Based Birth
As we waited for Grandma to show up, I packed a hospital bag and finished stringing the beads onto my Blessing Way necklace.
My cousin threw me a beautiful Baby Shower just a few days earlier. It was called a “Blessing Way” shower because every girl who attended was asked to bless me with a bead or stone to contribute to a necklace that I would wear during labor. Each bead represented someone who gives me strength and encouragement. Each represented another woman who has the strength to bear children. Each bead represented something special about that person or about myself. I loved it!
We arrived at the hospital that evening and asked to be put into a triage room for monitoring, rather than be admitted. Raul and I had taken many birth classes that taught us our rights for informed consent and that nothing should be done without us first knowing how and why and consenting to it. Thanks to our coaches Lisa Higuchi and Karen Brann we felt prepared to make educated decisions that guided us through a positive and fulfilling birthing experience in the hospital as much as possible. My main priority was to keep myself away from the hospital before labor started so I could avoid ” unnecessary” interventions. I did not want be induced with medication, which causes a whole storm of other interventions with negative side effects and increase the chance of a Cesarean delivery, which also comes with its own negative side effects. Induction is at an all time high in the United States according to NCBI. And according to Evidence Based Birth, it has been as high as 41%! Induction raises our chances of a C Section, and the induction medication Pitocin has also been linked to an increase in the risk of Post Partum Depression by 32%! I wanted to birth how God intended, naturally and without drugs or unnecessary interventions, as long as baby and I were safe and healthy. The nurse immediately put on her gloves and as her big latex coated hands moved toward my vagina I stopped her suddenly and said I wanted to be informed of the process and I wanted to consent to it before we did anything. She said she would like to check dilation so they would know if I was in labor and could be admitted. I declined because I knew I wasn’t in labor, I wasn’t feeling contractions, and I wanted to avoid any infection that could be introduced by vaginal contact. I wasn’t ready to be admitted and on hospital time clock. I wanted baby to come when ready. She also wanted to swab test my vagina to confirm if fluid was urine or amniotic fluid. I told her that I was 100% sure it was NOT urine and that it wouldn’t really matter anyway because If it was amniotic fluid, we would still be in the same situation, except that the hospital staff would try even harder to admit me immediately. She was pretty put off by my confidence and refusal of her services. She asked what she “ could” do , and I told her I would like to confirm baby’s heart rate was OK and that my fluid levels were steady, considering I had been drinking water nonstop! She said the DR had no interest in fluid levels and their only concern at this point would be to avoid infection in my vagina. Exactly my point! Exactly why I said no to swab test and check for dilation. My OB and another nurse entered the room and tried again to convince us to take the tests, to be admitted and to be open to induction and or/epidural. I was so sad and put off by the formality of everything with no consideration for my wishes. We left the hospital and started wishing we had organized a home birth with a midwife instead. But you know what? God knows best! If we had a home birth planned, it would have ended up a hospital birth anyway because midwives don’t take patients under 37 weeks.
We checked into a hotel nearby on Friday evening, had dinner, and went to bed. On Saturday the slow leak continued. We knew at this point it was just a waiting game and now it was time to try to induce labor naturally. There are many myths ( or truths) about inducing labor by stimulating the intestinal tract ( with herbs, castor oil, spicy foods, pineapples) or by creating natural oxytocin ( the “happy, love Hormone” ) by partaking in pleasurable activities. ( Sex can’t be one of them when your sac is leaking or broken due to risk of infection). So that afternoon we created Oxyctocin in other ways! We saw a funny movie, had a nice long walk in the sun, went to dinner and ate spicy food, facetimed with our 2 year old, and Raul massaged my ankles.
We were now at hour 66, and I was starting to wonder if anything would ever happen! I was also worried that our childcare cards for Cruz would be all used up for nothing. But God calmed my spirit and said,” I am here, I will not let you down. I am with you and guiding you and your husband. I am giving you guidance in your decisions. I am protecting you, and it will all be OK.” My husband kept telling me everything would be perfect, the birth, the timing, me and the baby. That gave me peace.
So relaxed as could be, my head hit the pillow hard that night because I knew I would need to be well rested for the birth experience ahead of me. Sure enough, only 3 hours later, I was woken by a faint lower back pain that was all too familiar, and just like when I started to go into labor with Cruz. I timed them 5 minutes apart 4 times before I woke Raul and told him it was “ time.” As we left the hotel, I waved goodbye to the front desk attendant with one hand, and rubbed my belly with the other. His look of excitement and surprise made me laugh and get excited too!
I immediately put on my head phones and started my “ birth” playlist and tried to get in my zone, walls up, protecting my thoughts and space. My playlist was full of songs I love and could hear over and over again. They were all soft and slow, many worship songs, with the exception of my favorite JLO song, “ Dance Again.” Though the wait had been almost 70 hours by that time, I was feeling thankful that God gave Raul and I that time together to reconnect as a couple and enjoy our last days alone for a long time.
As we checked into the hospital, we were greeted with some uncomfortable stares, and the head nurse asked, “ Are you here to stay now, and will you let us treat you this time?” I responded, “ I’m here to stay, I am actually in labor now, contractions are only a few minutes apart, thank you.” What a way to break my concentration and make me feel unwanted and undeserving of their services! If I wasn’t in labor I may have said something I would regret.
We were checked into a room where I could birth my baby, and shortly after my cousin arrived. We had tentative plans for her to come to take pictures and communicate with the nursing staff on my behalf so Raul could continue to support me through my laboring. They were my ” doula” team! I was so happy she made it! She came all the way from her family vacation in Big Bear, almost a 3 hour drive each way! What a display of love and commitment!
We arrived at 11:30pm and baby was born at 4:20am. My labor was half as long as it was with my first baby! Generally labor moves much quicker without an epidural, which is just one of many reasons I didn’t want one. Labor progressed fast, I felt every contraction come on stronger and stronger. They started to last longer, too. My husband and my cousin assisted me in changing positions frequently, and squeezing my hips and putting counter pressure on my back through every surge. I let out low groans and sometimes said “ Thank you God, thank you.” I focused on opening and releasing this baby from my body. My favorite moment was early on when I had my arms around Raul’s neck, and I hung from him with most of my weight. I am sure this wasn’t his favorite part, but it was mine! We danced and swayed in attempts to get my hips to open up. We learned this position in our Bradley Birth class. Then the song “ hey pretty girl” by Kip Moore came on.. The words were perfect in the very moment I shared the headphones with Raul. It went…“ Hey pretty girl you did so good, our baby’s got your eyes,” we danced together, we made eye contact , we were so excited, feeling so confident and prepared and in control. We were a good team.
Everything was going smoothly until I came out of the restroom feeling very light headed and vomited. ( This is often a sign of the ” transition” stage of labor, when the cervix is fully dilated and baby is positioned in the birth canal, ready to join us outside of the womb! Transition is also commonly the point where many women let fear take over, and pressure starts to feel like unmanageable pain and you start to hear ” I can’t do this.” )
The lightheadedness could have been due to the intensity of a contraction, or because I had just gotten up from the toilet too fast, or because I didn’t remember to eat anything since I had arrived at the hospital. I was supposed to be eating and drinking electrolytes, I brought honey sticks and tons of snacks, but labor progressed with such intensity that this fell on the back burner. Raul made sure I was well hydrated from water so that wasn’t the issue. Anyway, the last thing I remember is that I said I felt dizzy. I woke up what felt like 100 years later, I had no recollection that I was ever pregnant, I had no idea where I was or why I was there. I was pain free, but I was having a hard time catching my breath. I had fainted and completely blacked out! I fell right into my husband’s arms and he brought me to the floor. I thought I was dead, and it felt like Heaven. No pain, no worry, no time, I floated on clouds, and felt the most overwhelming sense of peace and comfort. I didn’t miss anyone or anything because I didn’t even remember anything except the moment I was in. It felt like a 100 year nap, but when I became conscious again I had TONS of worry! I noticed a panicked nurse, my cousin was in shock, and my husband kept telling me to look at him and breathe. I breathed heavy and quick until I could put all the pieces back together. The nurse said to me, ” keep breathing Jennifer, you were purple, then you lost all color, and now I see it coming back so keep breathing.” I felt that the nurses weren’t in tune to the my speedy progression, and certainly weren’t prepared for that! The whole thing was such a big ordeal that it was followed with many reports, meetings, interviews, and I was even given another bracelet to add to my collection, it said “ FALL RISK.”
For the next hour or so, contractions came on long and strong. I knew better than to fear my own body so I powered through but not without my amazing team, my husband and my cousin. At this time I needed both of them to speak affirmations into my ears and squeeze my hips and massage my butt until they had cramps in their hands. About an hour later, As I sat in a squatting position on the birth ball, I felt tons of pressure and it almost took my breath away. I had enough energy to tell the nurse “ baby is coming very soon”. So then she took a quick looksy and she could already see the head in position! She panicked a bit, and then called my DR at home and told him to head on over to the hospital. A few nurses told me ” not to push”. I laughed and said, I am not pushing, baby is! My DR made it in 9 minutes, but baby was out in just a few. I was pretty bummed my DR didn’t make it on time but then I realized it doesn’t matter much who receives the baby. He did a nice job getting my placenta out and making sure there was no postpartum bleeding. He also told me I’m a Rockstar so that made it all better. The one thing I really wanted to experience was 1) a huge surprise gender reveal, and 2) feeling the natural ” expulsive reflex”, and boy did I feel it! It completely took over and I didn’t do a thing. No pushing! Overall I got what I hoped for and I couldn’t be more grateful for the way it all turned out. With a good bill of health and a nicely prepared birth plan, all can go well for any woman if she puts her mind to it.
Look at this vernix!
We were so shocked and elated when we noticed it was a boy!
After it stopped pulsing, Raul cut the cord. Now baby is no longer attached to the Placenta or umbilical cord and he is living and breathing Earthside with us, all on his own! Simply a miracle from God. Nobody else can create such a beautiful and perfect mystery like this one.
I feel that God chose Enzo’s name for us. I was approaching 40, and I knew this would most likely be our last child, it would also be our last chance to have the surprise of our life, the gender reveal! I told my husband I wanted to wait to find out if this was a boy or a girl, and he quickly agreed! We were both surrendered to God’s plan, boy or girl, and we were equally excited about the anticipation of our child’s “ Birth” Day. For the duration of my pregnancy, I agonized over a name for a boy. I kept thinking how much easier it would be to have a girl because that was familiar, I already had her wardrobe waiting for her, and I had name her too. I often prayed “God, if you give us a boy, I don’t know his name, I don’t have a bedroom for him, I don’t have any blue clothes, I don’t know if I have the energy to keep up with a boy, I don’t want to have to discuss the controversial topic of circumcision with family, it will just be easier if you give us a girl.” Well, in true form, God doesn’t always give us what is easy or what makes sense to us, but what brings us closer to him and to a life fully surrendered to his plan, which is above what we could dream up on our own. I’m in awe of HIM, and of my baby boy to
As I approached my “ due” date, I got more anxious about a boy name. I thought about it all day long. I prayed about it too. I couldn’t make a decision, nothing felt right, and my husband didn’t have a name I loved either. Everyone said, “ You will know it when you see him.” I thought, there is no way I can wait until he is born, there is no way I will just miraculously come up with a name under the pressure of time before I leave the hospital. Well as fate had it, I went into labor 3 weeks early, didn’t have the time to choose a name, it ended up being a BOY, and God DID reveal his name that day!
After baby’s first feeding and those first few precious hours together, we had some visitors!
They all asked for his name, and I said we still didn’t have one! Raul’s brother Ed Googled the current 100 top baby names and read every single name to me. I responded with “ those are all too common, I don’t like any of them.” So Ed googled who was born on that same day, February 18th, and he went down the list. “ Enzo Ferrari…” he said, and I lit up and said , “ Enzo!? Wow that was on my name list… Hmmm. I like it because it sounds good with Perez. “ It was also fitting considering he came early and he came fast, oh how he raced into our world! I felt more confident that could be his name. The name is of Italian and or Spanish Origin, both of which are the origins of the families of Raul and I as well. The name also means “ruler of the house.” When the pediatrician came to visit baby Boy, he said “ Wow, you have a boy now, I guess he will be the ruler of the house!” It all began to make sense and find it’s way onto the birth certificate. The middle name was Raul’s top pick, his only pick that I agreed with. It means “ Golden”, and Raul heard it in a dream. So that is how he became Enzo Dorado Perez. Ironically, he also has a golden tint to his skin, nothing like our first born!
Looking back on it, I realize how perfect it all worked out, though it didn’t go as I planned, as birth never really does. All of our family was able to be there for us either by watching our Daughter Cruz or visiting us in the hospital over the weekend. We had the time to prepare, make arrangements, go on a date, and I was spared from an additional 3 -4 weeks of pregnancy pains. Baby was perfect in size and had no need for NICU either. Timing was perfect.
Later I learned that I was the ONLY woman to EVER faint during labor with that nursing staff in more than 30 years! Nurses never explained what happened to me because I really think they didn’t know what happened to me. After speaking with other Doctor friends of mine, they explained that the vomiting stimulated my Vagus nerve which caused reduced blood pressure and a loss of blood to the brain, an episode called Vasovagal Syncope
I used to be afraid of giving birth, and now I’m just afraid to faint unless my husband is there to catch me when I fall. Our preparation and education removed all fear and increased my faith that God made a woman’s body to do this! It is absolutely amazing what happens when we stand back and allow him to execute what he has designed so perfectly. The creation of mankind and reproduction is without a doubt a part of his master plan. I feel privileged that I am still here to watch my babies grow.
Every single Mother has a story. A birth story is one a Mother will never forget. Don’t forget that behind that beautiful new baby is a birth story that is affecting Mama and baby for the rest of their lives.
Simply Natural Mamas 