Tag: body image

How Breast Implants changed my life

I never thought I would spend so much time talking about BOOBS, and now here I am writing a “BOOB BLOG.” I am a Certified Lactation educator who LOVES talking to Moms about their their breastfeeding journey ( which, though a simple and free gift from GOD, is not as easy as it sounds). I have also joined the growing group of 110,000 women who have suffered health issues after breast implants. My hope is that by sharing my story, I can bring more awareness to a growing danger that has now been acknowledged by the FDA as Breast Implant Illness, or BII. I hope to inspire women to make informed decisions before breast augmentation surgery, to help them navigate their journey to better health and to help partners learn how to be supportive as well.

THE IMPLANT INDUSTRY 

More than 400,000 women and teenagers undergo breast implant augmentation surgeries every year, with 75% for augmentation of healthy breasts and 25% for reconstruction after mastectomy. The popularity of breast implants has risen dramatically in the last 20 years and has more than tripled since 1997. I am estimating that 80% of the women I know have breast implants.

Silicone implants were taken off the market in the 90’s for nearly 10 years after causing systemic health issues like fibromyalgia and Lupus without warnings ( many women sued the manufacturers and WON).  After being off-market for a little more than a decade, the FDA approved silicone gel-filled breast implants for augmentation in November 2006, with directives that manufacturers are required to conduct post-operative studies to “further characterize the safety and effectiveness of their silicone gel-filled breast implants and to answer scientific questions that the premarket clinical trials were not designed to answer. Sadly, In 2019, the FDA warned two implant manufacturers that they had failed to carry out adequate long-term safety studies of implants, which had been mandated as a condition of their prior approval in 2006. I didn’t even know that I was part of that study. The manufacturers of my implants never followed up with me, nor did my surgeon. I remember signing alot of paperwork before surgery and I knew there were risks, but the only one I remember was the 10 year replacement recommendation. Like anything, we consider the risks and the rewards, and we make decisions based on what we know. Some risks aren’t apparent until they happen, and unfortunately there is a darker side to the entire medical implant industry, as seen in the documentary The Bleeding Edge. In May 2019, the FDA finally clearly states that there is a risk of women with textured breast implants developing a type of cancer known as anaplastic large-cell lymphoma. Even though at least 17 women have died, the FDA is allowing continued availability of these implants in the United States, but will take steps for “more transparent medical device reports” to increase public awareness of the possible adverse effects of breast implants. Meanwhile, these implants have been taken off the market in 38 other countries including France and Canada.

KNOW THE RISKS

I am not saying that if you have implants you are going to get cancer or die. I am not even saying you will get sick. There are many women that have implants well beyond the 10 year mark and they claim to have no symptoms. There are also women who become ill immediately and their symptoms improve right after explant. There are women who explant and don’t see any big improvements in their health. There are so many celebrities that have removed their implants with similar stories. There are many young, popular social media ” influencers” like Manifestation Babe that exude health and fitness and who were very sick but have redeeming success stories after explant. Youtube star Karissa Pukas didn’t make the connection until her fans pleaded with her to look into it. She told her story on the Today Show in 2019. The way I see it, even if I explanted and I only experienced minimal improvements like the weight off of my neck and shoulders, the reduced anxiety about a silent rupture, being more comfortable in clothing and bras, the ability to do more strenuous exercise and play freely with my kids, and sleep on my stomach, it would be worth it. FDA states they are thoroughly tested for safety, but there are still many risks associated with all breast implants, including:

• Additional surgeries. (s many as 1 in 5 primary augmentation patients and 1 in 2 primary reconstruction patients require device removal within 10 years of implantation. According to the FDA, nearly 50% of women return for another surgery within 3 years of their first surgery, unsatisfied with the original size or due to complications.)
• Breast implant associated-anaplastic large cell lymphoma (BIA-ALCL), which is a cancer of the immune system.In July 2019, Allergan voluntarily recalled Natrelle BIOCELL textured breast implants and tissue expanders from the market to protect patients
• Systemic symptoms, commonly referred to as Breast Implant Illness (BII)
• Capsular contracture (scar tissue that squeezes the implant)
• Breast pain
• Rupture (tears or holes in the shell) of saline and silicone gel-filled implants
  • Deflation (with visible change to breast size) of saline filled implants
  • Silent (without symptoms) rupture of silicone gel-filled implants
• Infection

OTHER CONCERNS:

They are made of a cocktail of approximately 40 chemicals that are known to be toxic endocrine disruptors and carcinogenic irritants. Thankfully our body produces a tissue capsule around the implant to try and protect us (that says a lot in itself). Mammograms are inconclusive when looking for breast cancer or a silent silicone rupture so an MRI is recommended every 2 years. NONE of this is covered by insurance so costs will add up. Scar tissue CAN prevent you from being able to Breastfeed. There are also concerns and complications when explanting: hematoma, dog ears, adhesions, lung puncture, loss of breast tissue and size, scarring, different shapes and sizes: the list goes on and on.

Saline implants are not free from concern either, due to the chemicals in their lining. Some may believe that the toxic chemicals of an implant casing or interior can’t permeate through the outer shell or the scar capsule, but DRs are finding proof that states otherwise. Check out one of the BEST explant surgeons in the United States addressing this concern here in this video.

This is a photo of my silicone implants after removal: one was ruptured inside of me and I didn’t have a clue. Drs are noticing that women with a rupture often have more symptoms than those that do not.

Most don’t even make the connection until someone else makes the suggestion to consider it. For some women, like Crystal Hefner, famous model and then wife of Hugh Hefner, their careers depend on their appearance, as well as their ability to stay fit, healthy and relevant. Still, she could no longer deny that the implants could be the cause of all of her new health issues so she had them removed in 2016.

 

WHY DID I GET BREAST IMPLANTS? 

At age 26,  I married my first husband, someone I admired. We spent alot of our time at the Lake with big groups of friends. Silicone gel implants were just put back on the market and were gaining popularity at a rapid pace. It seemed to me like I was one of the few that did not yet jump on the bandwagon. I did, however, think that they looked amazing and wished I could upgrade my look in a bathing suit. My husband never criticized me or made any comments about my breasts, but I saw how he looked at other women, and I secretly thought that if my boobs looked like theirs, it would increase my chances of keeping his attention. Though there was lots of love in that relationship, I eventually had to stop enabling his addictions. I had to let go and practice “ tough love”, which was not only TOUGH, but EXCRUCIATING. 

What I then thought was the worst time of my life became the most transformative time of my life. I felt I had nowhere to go with my grief so I went to Rock Harbor church in Costa Mesa. The music permeated my soul. God’s Holy Spirit spoke to me.  He forgave me for my divorce. He hugged me and said I am still his child that he loves dearly. He was crying tears of JOY with me because I came running to his arms. Praise to HIM!

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14

Though I grew up in a Catholic home, this is truly when I felt “ saved”  by the Lord Jesus and I BELIEVED all of the stories I’d heard my entire life. I FELT his presence and love. I WANTED to do whatever I could do to make him proud. He carried me through the next few years as I struggled with MORE GRIEF and MORE soul searching like never before. 

About one year after our divorce, ( sadly, this is how SO MANY of these Breast implant stories start), I decided I wanted to fit in when standing next to all of the other girls that went to the river with us, ( which is SO uncharacteristic of me! I have NOT ever cared about “ fitting in” and always wanted to be DIFFERENT, and proud of it!) At this time in my life, I was searching for who I was again. I was re-creating myself since “ myself” didn’t seem like enough. If he wasn’t motivated to save our marriage, maybe I just wasn’t good enough. I didn’t think I could afford the surgery but then came across a ” deal” that offered to cut into my chest and stick 2 bags filled with a toxic gel into my body and I just couldn’t refuse!

TIMELINE OF ILLNESS:

I had implant surgery in October of 2007. I remember the day very well. I was a tiny bit afraid of dying in surgery but I had a few friends that had already been through it and they assured me it was well worth it, I would be more confident and complications were rare. To be honest, I remember thinking to myself, my life is a crazy mess right now anyway, if I die, at least my heart won’t hurt anymore. I am certain that stress is the root cause of many of today’s illnesses and therefore alot of the symptoms women experience could be manifested from stressful life events like divorce, death, poor diet and other issues. They may have had issues way before implants. Add major surgery and a foreign object to the mix and you have a recipe for breakdown. Now the body is working much harder to fight, the immune system is in overdrive, constantly working to get back to the way God perfectly designed it in the first place.

I switched to nutritionists and other specialists and had over $1,000 of blood work done. My tests showed inflammation markers like high white blood cells, high neutrophils, high monocytes but did not point to any specific disease or treatment. I completely changed my diet in hopes to get healthy from the inside out and feel more energy. I stopped eating anything from a box or a can, checked every label for preservatives and GMO’s. I got pretty serious about my diet, thinking it could be candida or allergies. I started using lotions, shampoos and skincare without questionable ingredients like phalates, sulfates, parabens, unidentified fragrances and more.

Frustrated, I self diagnosed by googling my symptoms. I started telling DRs I thought I had fibromyalgia. They all said that it was more psychological than physiological and there was no way to diagnose or treat it. Thankfully there is now a way to diagnose this ” physiological condition” through Anti-Polymer Antibody Assay blood testing, and is currently in clinical trials outside of the US. If anything, at least it rules out Lupus and Rheumatory arthritis. There are also 3 drugs on the market ( all anti-depressants) that seem to help alot of people feel better. 

Long story short, in 2010, I felt God lead me to a Spanish Immersion school in Costa Rica and that is where I met my “ now and forever” husband and we now live together in Southern California and have 2 toddlers. In 2015 I got pregnant with our first child and I became even more serious about nutrition to support the growing human inside of me. My daughter was born in March of 2016. GOD IS SO GOOD! Even while dealing with all of this I had really healthy pregnancies and really blessed drug -free birth experiences! In April 2016 Nicole Daruda started her Facebook group of now over 100,000 women: Breast Implant Illness and Healing by Nicole . This was the first time I heard about BII, or ” Breast Implant Illness.”

I was blown away!! It all sounded so familiar. I felt understood. This condition was and still is not recognized by doctors, but while reading story after story – I started to wonder if that could be the root of my issues. Hundreds of women are removing implants and finding better health. I felt a little crazy. How could my safe (approved by the FDA) implants make me sick? So many people have them and they seem ok. But then again…I’m sure I seemed ok to most people as well. Underneath it all I was dealing with symptoms and they were unbelievably similar to those experienced by thousands of other women claiming to have BII. 

Here is a full list of my symptoms. I never experienced ANY of these issues BEFORE IMPLANTS:

Fatigue, brain fog, tightness in throat, constant painful knots in shoulders and neck, dry eyes, alcohol intolerance, swollen lymph nodes causing pain in neck and armpits, inflammation,  joint pain similar to fibromyalgia or Rheumatory Arthritis, decline in vision, root canals, abnormal PAPs, Candida, vitamin deficiencies, sensitivity to light, cold, wind, noise, hormone imbalances, metallic taste in mouth, unusual armpit odor, ringing in my ears, autoimmune hepatitis, and rashes.

I have visited all types of DRs throughout the years; Primary MD, OB, Holistic, DO, Chiropractic, Chinese medicine. I’ve seen at least one different DR for every year I’ve had implants and nobody ever pointed out my abnormal blood work, nor admitted anything was wrong with me.  In 2020, my symptoms seemed to increase rapidly. I had heartburn all the time. I had carpal tunnel and had to sleep on ice packs all night long. I had a horribly itchy body rash that lasted 3 months, and I had multiple periods in one month. I was getting 8 hours of sleep but still unable to stay awake, (Or if awake, unable to control my moodiness) past 8pm. I saw the last DR in February of 2020 when I was in tears because the issues were debilitating. He had no suggestions except ” take steroids and it will go away, whatever it is.” I asked if he thought there was any possibility it could be my implants and his response was so disappointing. He said ” There are many women that come to me with the same question and I tell them all the same thing: there is no ” scientific” evidence that breast implants cause any illnesses. I do not think you should remove them because your husband will not be happy with the results, and if you do, your poor husband.”

SURGERY:

Due to the overwhelming number of women wanting or desperately NEEDING to remove their implants, the waiting list to get a consultation is about 6 months and the first available surgery date can be up to ONE YEAR out. I therefore scheduled my surgery 10 months in advance. That gave me time to allow my last child to wean himself from breastmilk naturally when he was ready, and for reduced safety concerns during my surgery. This also gave me time to do a ton of research and make sure I was making the right choice for me and my family.

In January 2020, my surgeon announced he was being pushed out of a major hospital and that my procedure would take place in a surgery center. I was so worried because I wanted the assurance of safety being in a hospital with many additional resources. They assured me that complications are rare and my surgeon was trained to handle it without any additional hospital resources. The surgery center was more peaceful and clean than a hospital and the payment options would be more flexible too.

A few months passed and I started to get anxious. We should never allow the devil to let us believe that God is not working or miracles can’t happen because he is always up to something and his plans are always GOOD. I meditated on his promises. I have made you and will carry you. I will sustain you and I will rescue you- Isaiah 46:4. THEN, in March 2020 the COVID-19 Pandemic entered the scene and BAM, all of a sudden NOBODY wanted to be near hospitals! Thank GOD mine was still scheduled in a surgery center, for BII patients with “essential” medical needs! I’m thankful I was not one of the women that had to cancel or postpone for a later date. I was READY.

The day before surgery, I prayed specifically that everyone at the surgery center would be 100% healthy, and that I would have some laughs and God would give me peace that this was the right timing. Sometimes my husband is really funny but we hadn’t truly laughed in a long time because of all of the uncertainty surrounding the current circumstances of the World. I had also just received the news that I would be laid off from work. Well God answered that prayer 100%! My husband made me laugh so hard the night before! I went to bed smiling. On the way to the surgery center, I had a few laughs in the car with the kids and later in the operating room too.

We sat parked in front of the entrance, joined hands and prayed together. I walked in alone because they were very strict about limiting exposure to germs. The surgery would last 4-5 hours and my family had nowhere to go because everything was either closed or full of germs so they rode bikes in the parking lot of the surgery center and ate lunch in the trunk of the car. That portable toddler potty has really come in handy over the years!

I signed a few papers, my surgeon marked me up like an art project, and I was reminded of the scripture; “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”- 2 Corinthians 5:17. I laid on that operating table, freezing with chattering teeth, my arms stretched out in the form of a cross. My whole body became hot and tingly and felt like I had an elephant sitting on top of me.

RECOVERY

Tears rolled down my face. I was so relieved to be awake, to be free, to be lighter, to be told that my intuition was right, that I made a good decision and not a minute too late. I had a 3 pound weight lifted from my chest!

The first day of recovery was rough. The IV meds had caused extreme nausea and vomiting and dehydration. I had drains in for 4 days. I was confined to a bed for the first week to avoid the risk of one of my kids jumping on me. They were very sweet and asked me 100 times ” Mommy, does your tummy still hurt?”

Within the first 10 days, my nails grew strong and hard and all the natural moisture came back into my face! I felt relief in the knots in my neck and shoulders. I could take a deep breath without pressure on my chest. ( The implants weighed a total of 3 lbs!.) My husband said I looked different and more ” alive” in my face and eyes. That man who the DR told me would ” not be happy” with my new boobs is quite the opposite; he is “very happy” that he gets a healthier, more natural looking wife out of this. My husband went to ALL of the pre and post-op appointments with me, supported the financial decision, the time away from work, taking care of the house and kids, cooking, cleaning, holding the trash can that caught my vomit, washing my hair in the the shower, and so much more. He wiped away the tears I shed after that first shower, seeing the aftermath of the damage I had chosen to do to my own body. Not a day has passed without an encouraging word from him. He has a love for me that goes way deeper than the size of my breasts.

By 30 days I felt more energy than I have in way too many years. I could get out of bed in the morning without aches and pains and brain fog. The eyelid inflammation was gone. I felt more motivated and less hopelessness. The armpit lymph node pain was gone. If you asked me to go somewhere or stay up late it no longer sounded overwhelming. Around day 30 I could finally pick my baby up out of his crib on my own. The first time I did it, he celebrated with me and said ” Yay, you did it Mommy!”

At the time of writing this I am 6 weeks post explant. PRAISE GOD! The fibromyalgia pain is BARELY noticeable. I can do all of my regular activities except pushups which I will wait and do at 8 weeks. I finally removed the tape from my suture lines and looked in the mirror at my scars for the first time. I stood there for at least 30 minutes in shock. I wondered what my old breasts looked like, I missed them. I thought about what I could have done with that money instead. I’m impatient about the healing process. Depressed about minor imperfections. Frustrated that I have to spend at least 30 minutes everyday taking care of scars for the next 6 months. I worried my husband may not be happy. My clothes, bras, and bathing suits don’t fit anymore. Bra shopping online is not easy ( remember, stores are closed). There is absolutely nothing for my 2 year old to squeeze anymore when he needs to be comforted. ( hehe). Insurance denied all of my claim. The costs of seeing specialists has added up over the years. The cost of explant was TRIPLE the cost of implant! The cost of my energy, quality time with my family, and my health is priceless. I know time heals most things, and I have learned what it takes to stay healthy!

I’m not sure yet if all of my symptoms will improve, but just knowing that they are out of me and seeing small changes has already encouraged me tremendously. I’m beyond thankful for others that shared their stories and for my amazing husband and family that has supported me through this.

UPDATE ONE YEAR LATER:

It has been one year since my explant surgery!!! After 3 months I was ready to do more rigorous exercising and push ups. I haven’t lost weight but I’ve lost inflammation in a major way!

2019 vs 2021

75% of my fibromyalgia body pain is GONE! I feel lighter, and my neck and shoulders are not full of knots everyday. Brain fog is GONE. My skin looks like it has more color, and my face was instantly more hydrated. I can get out of bed in the morning and go, instead of feeling like a ton of bricks. I can jump skip and run without anything flopping around. I no longer have to worry about replacing them, about silicone floating around in my tissue, or about product failure or expiration. I have no foreign objects in my body, and it feels so good. Clothes fit me better and buttons don’t look like they’re going to pop. There are alot of bathing suits that show scars but there are alot of other things I can wear without a bra and it’s so freeing! Overall I have no regrets. Honestly, it’s really tough getting used to the scars and the size. I think it may take another year before I feel confident, but right now I feel younger and lighter and I’ll take it!

You may email me at jennifersheart@sbcglobal.net